anonymous stories
of bias

Bias hurt me when...

"I was called into HR because I was too "outspoken" and "aggressive" in my leadership. I was then told that they "understood" that it was a cultural thing and that I just had to work at it. My leadership style at the time was no different than that of my white male counterpart."

Bias hurt me when...

I wore gold hoop earrings to work and a coworker said "LOVE the hoops! You look like the girls in rap videos!"

Bias hurt me when...

"My new manager told me that he saw my role as "administrative" - scheduling meetings, coordinating social engagements and stocking supplies. At the time I was leading Operations for a $5B business. After I left for another role he requested a male backfill."

Bias hurt me when...

"I was telling my coworkers about the use of electronics equipment - that I have experience with from use in the past - and the manager said to one of the employees that he does not think I have used such equipment because how could I have afforded it being black."

Bias hurt me when...

"One time during a work mixer I was introducing myself to a few clients in the advertising industry. Someone made a comment which implied that I worked closely with the few POC at the company."

Bias hurt me when...

"I was asked by executives to specifically remove people of my skin color and cultural heritage from company marketing materials."

Bias hurt me when...

"I am capable to fulfill the roles I am applying for, but I don't get callbacks. One career coach told me it was because my artwork shows up when they search for me and they decide not to call me back."

Bias hurt me when...

"my hiring manager told me she was going to replace me with "someone younger." As a freelance writer, I was treated as dispensable. "

Bias hurt me when...

"When I was a Junior Account Manager I was talked down to by another co-worker on how a production was going that I had little to do with. She questioned my competency and work ethic in an aggressive way."

Bias hurt me when...

"When I interviewed for a new position managing a physician practice the doctor insisted on interviewing me himself. He asked me about my family life (was I married — did I have children — etc) and persisted even after I told him that he legally couldn’t ask me those questions."

Bias hurt me when...

"I am a redhead. As a manager I didn't have negative perform reviews - meet all goals - brought in over $500,000 in revenue. Out of the blue I was told that I was being demoted. The reason: I am too emotional. I show my emotions and I don't always have a smile on my face."

Bias hurt me when...

"In my yearly pay review I was not given any technical feedback as a web developer. Instead I got told that I came across too serious and grumpy because I didn't smile enough and heavily implied that it had an impact on the sort of projects that I got resourced for."

Bias hurt me when...

"I had a meeting with my boss where she announced a new hire. My white supervisor asked "what's her heritage and ethnic background" because the email that the new hire wrote was written "so eloquently". The new hire was black."

Bias hurt me when...

"My manager told me that he didn't understand why I would want a pay raise (to bring me in line with my performance and experience) because my husband worked...so why would I need more money? "

Bias hurt me when...

"You tell me that my direct, honest communication style works great for the global account that I lead. But then you tell me that I need to change it for American audiences."

Bias hurt me when...

"I was about to pitch a project about soccer to a client. I have been a huge athlete my whole life, and was so excited. I created the work, but was not allowed to present my own work to the client, because I was told by my account manager they didn't want any gringas in the meeting."

Bias hurt me when...

"I ran a significant and profitable business unit as an out gay man and despite acting as a VP - the company always passed me over for a VP title. Later it asked me to be the executive leader for the Pride group despite me not being an executive due to the 100% promotion refusal."

Bias hurt me when...

"I applied for a job at a famous cafe. After chatting with the manager, I was sent to the basement to meet the owner. There I found a white man sitting alone. He asked if I had waitressing experience (no). Then he looked over my body, up and down very slowly, and said That's OK."

Bias hurt me when...

"I was blind-sided with feedback from a team that withheld thoughts on ways of working for weeks. Instead of speaking to me directly they went over and around to share their thoughts when I've always had an open door policy. Is it my presence or something deeper that blocked a 1:1?"

Bias hurt me when...

"I'm misunderstood for hearing voices and judged in a personal, political and societal manner."

Bias hurt me when...

"When I was 19, I worked at a residential facility for teens, mostly boys. A middle-aged, male colleague occasionally drove me home. During one ride, he said, You really should wear looser pants to work. I'm sure your body is distracting to the boys. Who knows what they'll do."

Bias hurt me when...

"I tried my birth name instead of my white-sounding nickname on my resume while job-hunting. No calls, no rejection emails, radio silence. I put my nickname and started getting 3x the amount of communication. Got married, changed my last name, and got 5x the responses & interviews."

Bias hurt me when...

"My male manager told me that women are never the same after they come back to work after having a baby. He said their work suffers because their focus is no longer there. Little did he know I was pregnant at the time."

Bias hurt me when...

"My ideas were only heard and validated when a white man repeated them."

Bias hurt me when...

"I'm judged for a role based on years experience. What about quality of experience or depth of experience? Can you guarantee that 'years' of experience leads to better hires? No."

Bias hurt me when...

"I was told 'You're not who I hired' to my face, simply because I dared to question processes put in place that didn't help our clients but further confuse them."

Bias hurt me when...

"A white male client said that my English is better than my father's. Like it's a competition. Like he had the power to judge me when he only knows one language. Knowing English, or how advance your English speaking skills are, is not a measure of intelligence."

Bias hurt me when...

"I was told I was not collaborative and a good “culture fit” when I walked in front of my male co-presenter on stage to better engage with an audience of 150 people."

Bias hurt me when...

I was talking to my manager who was in her early 30s about wanting a raise. She mentioned a female acquaintance we both shared and said "Well, look at her. She met her husband and he makes six figures, so she's fine now."

Bias hurt me when...

"My mom (who was visiting) lovingly cooked some food to share with my team and my manager said that since she has amazing cooking skills she should live rent-free in a cabin on his property and cook for him on a daily basis. He then made fun of her accent."

Bias hurt me when...

"I was told by my supervisor that I was too aggressive and too strong in expressing my opinion and advocating for my staff. I believe my behavior was judged based on the fact that I was a woman. No male manager was ever told this."

Bias hurt me when...

"while I was on maternity leave, my company told me I was no longer needed, but I should be happy about that since I could be a stay-at-home mom. "

Bias hurt me when...

"Despite a record of strong performance in my role, I was pushed out to accommodate a younger white man whose job was impacted due to COVID—this despite the fact that he had none of the qualifications required to perform in my role."

Bias hurt me when...

"As a professional photographer for twenty years, on photo-shoots, editors and clients walk right past me “looking for the photographer”. They assume because I am a woman, I'm the makeup artist. "

Bias hurt me when...

"I bring up our lack of diversity on our team again and again - review after review with my manager - and no change. After announcing I was leaving my manager was shocked and repeatedly asked why I was leaving if I was doing great and had been given a raise. Why? Lack of diversity."

Bias hurt me when...

"A White service rep boldly applied a Black stereotype when he asked 'Oh you grew up with your father in your home?' Then he delivered a backhanded compliment by saying 'And you’re doing so well! Your parents must be so proud' as if it came as a surprise to him."

Bias hurt me when...

"As a new employee in group of 3 white women, my supervisor, who was also a white woman said, 'your hair looks like it says pull me'. "

Bias hurt me when...

"My Superiors regularly put me in work having to with African American Affairs not because they thought I was the right fit or because they felt I was well prepared but because I was black. Whats worse is that they looked to have me confirm their biases about black people."

Bias hurt me when...

"I told my supervisor I was being treated for depression to explain the changes in my demeanor at work and elicit his support. A few months later, I called out sick. When I returned to work, he said with a sneer, Were you really sick? Or was it just your 'depression'? "

Bias hurt me when...

"We posted hurtful creative — photos of 'sunburnt' employees to promote a picnic themed happy hour. I was speaking up for POC employees that had come to me that weren't represented in the photos."

Bias hurt me when...

"A senior male coworker frequently belittled me - specifically by repeatedly telling me how to do simple tasks that I'd shown proficiency at for years (and that frankly a child could learn). He turned to this tactic mainly when called out for his incomplete / incorrect work."

Bias hurt me when...

"I overheard that my pending promotion was being delayed because there was doubt about my ability to present in front of our Board of Directors - a group comprised primarily of white older men."

Bias hurt me when...

"During a salary negotiation for an offer I was going to accept the recruiter tells me I'm 'greedy' for not taking a salary that is less than what I made at the time. But then offered a white male friend of mine a higher salary for a role I would have been supervising."

Bias hurt me when...

"My boss grabbed my breast at a holiday party and said 'Sorry! I just had to do it!' There was alcohol involved and they conveniently forgot that it happened. I confided in a coworker who told me I must be mistaken. The instinct was to protect the harasser instead of the harassed."

Bias hurt me when...

"When leadership would call me a creative director but refused to give me the title and compensation that goes with it — all the while formally promoting my male counterparts."

Bias hurt me when...

"My white colleagues constantly asked me if I was "good with budgets". There were 6 other Account Executives, but all the "budget" questions came to me, the only Asian Account Executive at the company."

Bias hurt me when...

"I realized my boss was hiring people outside of the US so he can pay them less (some as little as $6/hour!)"

Bias hurt me when...

"A leader in our agency referred to a creative concept as gay. Which might have been ok if they meant homosexual but instead they just meant to say it was bad."

Bias hurt me when...

"Multiple colleagues have noted that my capability and intelligence surprised them because of my bubbly and kind demeanor. My demeanor allows me to be more successful and make more intelligent decisions. It's disappointing that I'm being judged negatively for it."

Bias hurt me when...

"I was told I was not collaborative and a good “culture fit” when I walked in front of my male co-presenter on stage to better engage with an audience of 150 people. "

Bias hurt me when...

Upon receiving a counter offer from my company after tendering my resignation — my supervisor noted to me during the salary negotiations to remain at the firm “aren’t you retiring soon anyways?”

Bias hurt me when...

"Instead of confronting me or my manager with direct feedback, my coworker waited to provide negative feedback in my review. Why can't people be upfront and communicate throughout the day/week/month/year? "

Bias hurt me when...

"A colleague of mine told me that I was the first ever Asian they saw in a strategy role as most Asians do analytics. It made me feel like I was lumped into a group of people versus been seen as a unique individual with differing talents."

Bias hurt me when...

"When I was hired as an Assoc. Director (AD) one colleague on my team was at a Supervisor level and the other was a Planner. In 2 years the Supervisor became a SVP and in 3 years the Planner became a VP. Although my reviews are stellar crazy how after 5 years, I’m still an AD."

Bias hurt me when...

"When I was asked to write a blog post for the diversity and inclusion blog about myself and the committee I founded and my story was completely white-washed and edited to be more “corporate”.

Bias hurt me when...

"My colleagues tell me that I don't have any commitments at home and therefore have the ability to stay late at work to pick up the slack from others. It hurts because I didn't choose not to have children - it's how life turned out for me. "

Bias hurt me when...

Post my 30th birthday party I returned to work the coming Monday with the same hair-do. A creative director interrupted me in the meeting and said "You look like a million bucks. You could easily work for — what is that Arab Middle-eastern news channel? Ahh — Al Jazeera".

Bias hurt me when...

"I was employed as an executive for a Fortune 250 company and pursuing an Ivy League MBA. At a company event I mentioned to the founder / CEO that I was very excited to be graduating soon...he asked if I was getting my GED."

Bias hurt me when...

"When in meetings when I — or any other woman in leadership —disagreed with anything or it was thought that we might — the head of the company would tell our staff that "the claws were coming out". It helped to foster a hostile environment."

Bias hurt me when...

"I told my boss that I had to take short term disability to recover from surgery. On my last day in the office as we were reviewing my handoff document for coverage he said, "You don't even look sick." And he wondered why I didn't feel like I could confide in him."

Bias hurt me when...

"You pulled me to the side to tell me that my curly hair did not fit my title at work as a banker."

Bias hurt me when...

"When I was job hunting several organizations rejected me once they heard my stuttering during the interview process. They made a choice to focus on that single negative rather than the many positive things I would have brought to the organization."

Bias hurt me when...

"My manager told me he was worried I didn't know how to keep information confidential. When I asked him why, he said "I talked to a lot of people", but he didn't have any specific feedback where I shared something I shouldn't have. Because being social is a bad thing?"

Bias hurt me when...

"As a young female producer I needed to bring an older male producer into a conversation with a union representative in order to have enough credibility to have the conversation we needed to have — despite being the lead producer on the project."

Bias hurt me when...

"A supervisor on my job told me "they're never going to give you the Assistant Principal job - you're not married and that makes them think your life isn't settled. Find a more mature man and get that part of your life together, and watch how God moves your career. "

Bias hurt me when...

"When I was about to make an offer to a new hire the CEO of my company pulled me aside to give me some advice. He wanted me to know that women don't negotiate and I should offer a lower number to her. I was stunned as I am a woman and he hired me."

Bias hurt me when...

"There are obstacles on opportunities that can help me develop as a leader. The culture of “No” for me but “Yes” for my colleagues who are white."

Bias hurt me when...

"When I was a 21 y.o. grad student, I experienced sexual harassment by my supervisor. He regularly made comments about my body and the bodies of other female students. When I told him I was wearing red socks for Valentine's Day, he asked me if I was wearing a red thong to match. "

Bias hurt me when...

"In college, I received a service award for my inner city work. During the award presentation, the presenter kept saying how nice it was when affluent white students help poor children of color. I was never affluent, and those 'poor children' helped me more than I did them. "

Bias hurt me when...

"As the only black woman in a leader position at an investor-owned utility, my Sr. VP said to me "there is no racism in this country".

Bias hurt me when...

"English is my second language. I am an educator. I have been the Equity Committee’s chair for six years in my school. During this time, four other people have taken intermittently the co-chair position. All of them assumed that I am uncomfortable taking notes during meetings. "

Bias hurt me when...

"I’m perceived as younger than I am with the associated assumptions. That I don’t have first hand experience to validate my expertise in my career role. And that my age makes me less qualified to do my job. "

Bias hurt me when...

"A white male colleague told me after he found out I was pregnant that "I'm so happy for you! When you told me before that you didn't plan to have kids I was so sad for you."

Bias hurt me when...

"You chose to not acknowledge my contribution to the success of one of our biggest brands and proceeded to overlook me for a promotion...more than once."

Bias hurt me when...

"A coworker made it a point to state that I "have an accent" even though I speak English fluently and it's one of 3 languages I speak. This coworker even admitted that I write better than anyone else on the team."

Bias hurt me when...

"I voiced disagreement or pointed out potential issues with ideas in team meetings. I was told I was being negative and aggressive. One particular coworker would cry whenever I gave constructive feedback on their work or performance. I was essentially asked to smile in meetings."

Bias hurt me when...

My joints were swollen and incredibly painful due to my autoimmune disease. I had an important session so I pushed myself to get to work. When I explained this to my supervisor her response was “you don’t look sick.”

Bias hurt me when...

"I received a back handed compliment from my white female supervisor that I'm not passive aggressive like other Asians."

Bias hurt me when...

"I advocated for my white employee to get a $10k raise and she was readily approved for $15k. Months later I asked for a raise but I was denied."

Bias hurt me when...

"It's target is patients of color. I've seen unnecessary interventions carried out for training purposes. Assumptions being made based on stereotypes which easily leads to substandard care and I see how demanding patients are either tolerated or dismissed based on skin color."

Bias hurt me when...

"I was an early employee at a startup. When investors came to the office - I and my other female coworker were asked to leave the office and wait in the common area of the co-working space until the investors left."